Relationship Skills for Survivors of Abuse and Trauma

The Dancer: How to Love An Outrageous Person I was madly in love with my late husband for the 27 years we were together. He was an outrageous person, yet he taught me most of what I know about helping people with their relationships. Now I Am The Outrageous Person! Loving relationships for adults who… Read More

Save Your Best Behavior for The One You Love

This is the final posting in my series on relationship skills for people who experienced abuse or trauma in their lives. The table of contents for the series can be found on my Blog. One night, many years ago, David (my late husband) and I were fighting about something. I don’t even remember what it… Read More

Is It Love or Is It Addiction?

This is part seven of a series of articles on relationships specifically written for people who have experienced abuse or trauma in their lives. You can view the entire list of articles here: Relationship Skills for Survivors of Abuse and Trauma When I was 26 years old, I fell madly in ‘love’ with the man… Read More

16 Ways to Know If the Person You Met Online Is Lying to You

We all know what dishonesty is. Unfortunately, we usually know after the fact. After we’ve learned we’ve just been had. If we are lucky, the price for that learning is embarrassment and regret. If we’re not so lucky, the price can be misery and death. And everything in between. Loss of money, reputation, friends, status,… Read More

Is My Relationship Abusive?

In my prior articles, I have explained that there are differences between flashbacks/feeling abused and being abused. I have also explained that there are differences between not getting what you want and being abused. In a later posting, I will be explaining what I believe loving relationships look like. This article describes how abusive people… Read More

Intimate Relationships: What Just Happened?

This is part five of my series on relationship skills for people who have experienced abuse and/or trauma. You can find the rest of this series on my blog. Misunderstandings, projection and your history There was an Ann Lander’s newspaper column I used to hand out in my classes on this subject. Ann printed a… Read More

What to Do About the Pain of Intimacy

This is part four of my series on relationship skills for people who have experienced abuse and/or trauma. You can find the rest of this series here. Intimacy Pain Samantha and Paul loved each other but managed to argued constantly. They attended sessions regularly to learn new communication skills. They wanted to find new and… Read More

How to Handle Being Gaslighted or When People Say or Write Mean Words about you.

Years ago, I was stalked at work by a very intelligent sociopath. We were on the same working team. She contacked each person who worked with us telling them a clever lie about me. Each lie was different and created to appeal to the prejudices of that person. This was gaslighting. Gaslighting involves a mental… Read More